The Beginning
by ElizaAnthony
Summary: Six months of the Capitol's downfall brings peace but doesn't erase the nightmares that eat at Peeta and Katniss. One night they find the greatest opportunity to mend and grow. The end yet the beginning.


_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The horizon is spread wide with an explosion of yellows and oranges as I run, bow in hand, air pushing furiously through my hair.

It's been six months since the fall of the Capitol. The freedom, peace, and safety I own now are the greatest joys of my life yet the most terrifying thing I have ever encountered. I feel as though it will disappear at any moment, leaking through my consciousness, until I wake from a good dream in the midst of hell.

But every day Peeta visits me, offering bread. Dr. Aurelius reminds me that there is peace, no more Hunger Games, no more Snow.

And while I chant all of those things in my mind I also have to remind myself:

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am just turned eighteen. My home is District 12. _

_There is no District 12. I am the Mockingjay. I brought down the Capitol. President Snow hated me. He's dead. _

_There is peace. _

I come upon a deer. Silently drinking from the lake my father and I used to swim in. I narrow my eyes, focusing, raise the arrow, and shoot clean through its eye.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am eighteen years old._

_And I sure as hell know how to hunt. _

After I have cleaned and skinned my deer, I begin to slice the meat when Peeta walks in through my back door. We've gotten used to this, though, just burst into each other's homes without warning. We don't hide from anything anymore. I think it's a secret agreement that we don't care either.

"Hey," he says holding out a bouquet of Primroses.

I smile, taking them, "Thank you, Peeta, they're beautiful." I smell them, holding back the tears.

Prim.

"You got a deer today."

I slice clean through a large piece of breast meat, "I sure did. That's what's for dinner. Do you want to invite Haymitch?"

He touches a pedal on one of the Primroses, "Actually him and Effie are spending time together."

I raise an eyebrow, "That's news."

He chuckles, "It's strange, definitely."

Peeta has also brought two loaves of bread. I take a chunk of one and toss it too him. He laughs popping it in his mouth, looking at me. He's watching me again like he has been doing so much lately. His eyes don't look away.

The intensity of his gaze makes my breathing uneven before he slams his eyes shut, clutching a chair, knuckles going white, breathing unnaturally.

_Here we go._

"Augh, Katniss," he groans, another rampage of visions are taking over his memory, nearly bringing him to his knees.

I go to touch him, to comfort like I always do, but as soon as my finger tips graze his forearm, he slaps me hard, pinning me to the ground.

His episodes have never been this bad, and as I look into his eyes they're wide, pupils dilated, fury coursing through his veins, I know I'm in trouble.

Suddenly, I realize this same look of hatred pierced my eyes when Peeta tried to choke me to death.

I feel my heart sink, my chest constrict.

As afraid as I am, though, I cannot move. The words cannot voice themselves. I am paralyzed by his glare, terrified.

"P- Peeta, come back to me, you're alright. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

Slowly, painfully slow, he slips away from the madness raging in his memory. He blinks three times before backing up, shaking.

I breathe out, unaware that I had been holding it. Peeta is curled against a cabinet on the other side of the kitchen. His eyes fixated on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry, Katniss."

Tears form in my eyes as I crawl over to him, "It's okay, shh, it's okay."

Tentatively, I wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face in his neck, "You're fine, I'm here. It was just a bad memory. That's all, just… stay with me."

We stay like that for a long time, grasping reality, holding onto each other. I feel his hand move to the injured side of my face. He turns to look at me, kissing the inferno that is my now my cheek.

"I should go," he gets up to go but I hold him.

"No, Peeta, don't you dare. We're having dinner, now."

I get up, taking his hand in mine, and begin to season the deer meat. After the meat is put away to cook, I hand Peeta packages of meat to store so it stays cool. He does so, shoulders hunched.

"Katniss, I-…"

"Dammit, Peeta, I don't care that you lost it, okay? You can't help what you think. You didn't hurt me and you _never_ will. Please, just, don't go!"

I feel the tears falling, unable to stop them. Why I'm so upset, to the point of tears, aggravates me. I want to be so strong, never give in to the nightmares that stab at my heart even when I'm awake.

Gently, Peeta kisses my tears, cradling my face between his hands. His presence is filling my heart, covering all of the pain that coats my mind.

Tired of being strong, tired of relenting, tired of being afraid, I melt into Peeta, giving him everything.

For the past few months, we haven't really touched each other. He would spend the night, we'd sleep in the same bed, and he'd chase the screams away when they rose in my throat after a nightmare. It wouldn't go much further than that.

But now, the same hunger that I felt on the beach in our second Hunger Games rises, blooming from my heart to my fingers and toes, bringing my soul back to life, on fire.

I bring my lips to his, kissing hard, losing myself. He whimpers, grabbing my lower back, pressing me into his hips.

We're done. We're here. We're broken. We're fixing each others wounds. We're right where we need to be.

"Katniss," his breath fills my lungs.

The smile that forms on my lips spreads so wide it hurts, "I love you, Peeta." I grab his face, locking my eyes with his, "That is real, you hear me, real."

"Real," he echoes.

I take out the cooking meat, lay it on the counter, clearly we won't be eating tonight. Peeta picks me up, cradling my body as we make our way up the stairs to my bedroom.

He lays me on the bed, crawling in beside me, "Katniss, from the moment I saw you, I loved you. You have always been my love, my life." He touches my cheek, kisses me, then whispers, "Katniss, my Mockingjay, will you please be my wife?"

My heart feels as though it's swelling, the answer lies on my tongue, so sure, so right. There is no other for me. I realize there has never been any other.

"Yes, Peeta, I will marry you, to mend, to create this life that we have earned in every way. You captured my heart, and it's yours. There is no life without you."

We spend the rest of the night kissing, holding, whispering, and cherishing.

Tonight, we don't make love. That's not what our hearts and minds need. Tonight, we just put back the pieces. Grow.

Hold each other close, shoving away the memories, terrors, of our lives. We slowly clip away our worries, or torments, the visions of the past.

_Snip. Snip. Snip. _

All that matters is Peeta and I. This is the night we begin our journey; into our lives that will never be effortless, but a life that is safe, certain yet challenging, and guarded by one another.

Because that's why Peeta and I do, we protect each other. That is real, it always has been.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am eighteen years old. My home is with Peeta._

_It will remain that way. The Capitol is gone. We are safe._

_This is just the beginning._


End file.
